thatgirlisfunny.com

That Girl is Funny! © and “Pick Me! I’m Funny!” © are the brain children of Cheryl Ragsdale.  Cheryl created her approach to life when she looked at what keeps her happy.  She combines her love of martial arts, her understanding of human nature and her sense of humor to demonstrate how to push through the malaise that keeps us serious and determined.  Happy doesn’t live at the end of that tunnel. Funny can’t find you with that sour look on your face.  Lighten up! You can be a responsible adult and still have fun.

 Cheryl is masterful with encouraging us to take chances on looking a little silly as we flex our “just because it’s fun” muscle. She’s passionate about supporting people to live creative and happy lives. Her mission is to create a world, humming with love and vitality.  For a deeper look into what makes Cheryl tick, we invite you to read her life timeline below. 

 

My Life Story: Part One

I was born in Cardiff, Wales in the UK. We left Cardiff before my first birthday and I grew up in London. It was the ‘60s. Back then, we wore psychedelic colors and flare leg trousers.  On Saturdays, we walked down Portobello Road to the outdoor market. What a delight!  There were fabulous things everywhere with interesting and unusual people all around. Saw my first nuns there wearing dark clothes and strange looking head pieces. I liked passing the krishnas in their saffron robes especially when they were singing that hari Krishna song.

I stole something off a cart once. No one was looking so I just picked it up. I was only 5. My mother walked me back to the cart and made me apologize. I was ashamed. The man said it was alright and since I learned my lesson that I could keep whatever it was.

 We ate cockles soaked in vinegar from little ceramic dishes. They were little chewy things. I liked the taste of the vinegar. Funny what you remember. To this day, those Saturday mornings are some of my best memories.

I told the biggest lie of my life when I was six. Here’s what happened. Brits set off fireworks on November 5^th, Guy Fawkes Night. Mr. Fawkes is famous for being a man who attempted to blow up the houses of Parliament. Never really thought about why we celebrate that, but it is a night we look forward to. Everyone gets sparklers. Fireworks you can hold in your hand.

 Please to remember

the 5^th of November

Gunpowder treason and plot.

I see no reason

why gunpowder treason

should ever be forgot.

At school, they drilled into us how dangerous fireworks are. Never get near them when they’re about to go off. Do what you’re told and stay out of the way.  It all made perfect sense to me. Something happened to me that Guy Fawkes weekend. I accidently scalded my hand with hot water. My mother wrapped it in a rather impressive bandage and off I went to school on Monday.

First thing my teacher says to me is, “What happened to your hand, Cheryl? Did you get burned by fireworks?”

That was just too good to resist. “Oh yes,” I lied, immediately coming up with a good story to match the bandage. I had quite an imagination at six years old. Unfortunately for me, things took a rather dramatic turn at that morning’s Assembly. You can imagine my surprise when, on this particular morning, after our morning hymn, I was asked to come to the front of the gymnasium. I had no idea what to expect. Every head turned to watch me make my way to the front where all the teachers were. I remember thinking, “I can’t be in trouble. It’s still early. I haven’t done anything yet.”

My teacher started off reminding everyone about how dangerous fireworks were. Then, she turned to me and said, “Cheryl, tell everyone what happened to your hand this weekend.”

Oh, no! For a split second, I thought about coming clean. But, I had EVERYBODY’S attention.  I told the best story of my six year old life. You could have heard a pin drop. All day, I told my story over and over again, embellishing the scary bits for effect. I was a hero.

Fast forward to Christmas. My little sister was the Christmas Angel at our Christmas Pageant. She was adorable with dark bouncy curls and big round eyes. I was so proud of her. I think I had one line to say which I managed to deliver without any trouble.

I was feeling really good. My mother and sister were smiling and happy. And then it happened. My teacher approached us. “Terrible shame about Cheryl’s hand back on Guy Fawkes. Did she tell you we had her stand in front of the whole school and tell everyone what happened with the fireworks?”

 “Fireworks?” my mother asked.  Uh,oh.

The next day, I was back in front of the entire school at Assembly. This time, with my head hanging down, I recanted my excellent story and explained that my burn was the result of a mishap with the tea kettle. A day of infamy. To this day, I can’t tell a lie without getting caught. My face is a dead give-away.

I loved Hallfield Grammar School. I was devastated to leave before the end of the term when my family emigrated to America. I was eleven. My mother married an American GI and his tour of duty in England was over.

 

What Happened Next

We left London and moved to a farming community, Fayetteville, in Southern Illinois. Population: 2,057. My dad was stationed at Scott Air Force Base. We had some adjustment issues. People around town and at school had never met black children with British accents before. They either loved us or behaved badly with us. We hadn’t settled into our first school for very long before I got tired of it and said something that got me expelled. It was one of those moments where standing up for myself meant more than the eventual punishment I knew would be coming.

For some reason, the school administrator put me in the 4^th grade with 9 year olds because I told her I was in the 4^th year in school in England. Can you say “lost in translation”? I was eleven! Why don’t you put me in with the other eleven year olds and let’s see how I do. We’re talking rural community school with two grades sitting in the same room. I think I’ll be ok.

My first day with the 9 year olds didn’t go well. I didn’t know the pledge of allegiance. Well, excuse me. I’m from another country. I said something impolite (to a teacher!) I’d never done that before. But I tell you what, if she were standing in front of me right now, I‘d say exactly the same thing.

We had to leave town. I don’t know how my dad managed it. We had just moved to a new country. He had 3 children, two of them not his, on a military salary. But he managed it. I’m proud of my dad and grateful for the sacrifices he made both emotionally and financially. We were anticipating a new life, a better life in the States. So far, I was unimpressed and very homesick.

The next school, Mascoutah Elementary, was bigger, but not much better. I was placed in class with eleven year olds. I held my breath as I listened to each child struggle with the lessons on my first day. What’s wrong with these children? I was in a class for slow learners. I really am slow to anger, but my eleven year old blood boiled. I’ve always been bright. Why couldn’t they see that?

I knew enough to keep my mouth shut and tell everyone at home that school was great. Time went on. I got bored. One day, my teacher asked me to stop reading Treasure Island and to pay attention to what he was teaching. “I’ve already learned what you’re teaching,” I said and continued on reading.

To punish my rudeness, he kept me in my chair during recess and told me to write pages about my behavior. I started to write. And I kept on writing even after class started again. He didn’t ask me to stop. He waited until I was finished and then eagerly took what I had written to his desk.

My parents were called to the school. I died a thousand deaths waiting for them. Something shifted. Whatever I had written caused my teacher to reconsider my placement in his class. I got bumped up to Honors Classes. Even as I write this, I’m moved to tears by the risk I took that day. That decision helped define who I am as a person.

 

Ramstein Air Force Base, W. Germany:  Remember when it was called West Germany? We rotated as they say in military speak overseas. I was delighted to leave the US.  I never wanted to return. I loved everything about being in Europe again. I loved my high school! We lived on Vogelweh, the Army housing area, even though my dad was in the Air Force. When I was 13, I took a course and became an Official Babysitter. I had a card to prove it. I was a pom pom girl. I was on the yearbook staff and I edited a gossip column for the school newspaper. I was the Valentine’s Dance Princess. I went to homecoming and the Prom. I learned about boys and kissing. I worked in the library. I hung around with some really cool kids, lots of love and laughter. I had a really big afro and I was popular.  Like everyone, I did some stupid things.  I won’t share them here. I always got caught. I still blame Guy Fawkes and his stupid fireworks for my inability to get away with stuff.

College: I did my first year of college at the University of Maryland, Munich campus. That was fun! About mid-way through the first semester, when mid-term grades were posted, I remembered what parents were for. In my entire life, I’d never received grades as low as those. I did a complete turn-around. My family couldn’t afford to send me to college. I was there by the hair of my chinny-chin-chin and I was about to blow it with too much partying and not enough studying. Here was yet another reason to be grateful to my parents. They pulled money out of a hat to support me and my dream of being the first person to graduate from college in my family.

I spoke to my teachers telling them I had no intention of ever seeing another D in my life. I ended the term with all B’s. I learned a valuable lesson. I graduated with all A’s from high school. B’s don’t work for me.

Back to the US:  Then, after 5 years of living in Germany, it was time to rotate back to the US. My family left before the end of my school year. They left me with a plane ticket to join them later. But I didn’t want to leave Germany and go to – Omaha. Are you freaking kidding me? So, I didn’t go. I stayed with a friend and her family. Only, I neglected to tell my parents that I wasn’t arriving on that flight. In fact, I didn’t tell them anything. I was 18 years old, after all.

A few days after I missed my flight, my friend’s father, a military officer, came home and furiously got in my face. “I’ve just driven home listening to the Red Cross seeking information about you! Everyone thinks you’re dead. You were supposed to leave four days ago!”

Do you know that expression, “your ass is grass.”? Military people know how to dole out punishment. Really, to this day, I don’t know what I was thinking. Enough said about that. I have to say that is the strangest thing I’ve ever done. I’m the oldest child and always responsible. I didn’t want to go to Omaha. I thought my life was over.

Omaha: After a few months of being in Omaha, I started to exhibit signs of having a breakdown. One day, I called my mother from work, worried that I was going to die in a car accident on the way home.

That weekend, she and my dad drove 1000 miles to Denver, Colorado. They bought their first house. They made arrangements for my dad to finish his tour of duty in Omaha by living in the barracks – like with a single bed and a locker and having his meals at the chow hall. Within 30 days, we were packed and on our way to a new life in Denver. My sister suffered because she moved twice during her senior year. She was comfortable in Omaha and had made friends. She didn’t like her new high school in Denver. My 10 year old brother struggled to understand why no one was telling him the truth. The kids at his school said our parents were probably divorcing and not saying anything. My family endured all of that for me. I’m deeply grateful to them. I fell in love with Denver immediately. Denver was the perfect fit for me.

 

Marriage, Career and Graduate School

I completed college at the University of Colorado, Denver campus. I worked as a waitress, as a Kelly girl doing temporary office jobs, a hotel desk clerk. I even bagged groceries – whatever I could think of to make a buck. I went skiing in the beautiful Rocky Mountains. I met a man when I was 19 whose very first words to me were “I’m going to marry you.” 

I paid no attention. Funny enough, we ended up marrying each other when I was 25. My parents helped us pay for a beautiful wedding and we honeymooned in Aspen. We bought a townhome in Lakewood. He worked as a Real Estate Agent for a builder and I worked for Frontier Airlines as a Flight Attendant. Guess who used Mark for his realtor? John Elway, when he first arrived as a young Denver Broncos Quarterback.

One of Mark’s complaints was that I was away from home a lot. Then, he got a job traveling with a Consulting Company and he changed his tune. Looking back, I can see that we lived like two people pulling in opposite directions.

After Frontier went out of business, I went to work for the same Consulting Company. I didn’t have a clue what I was supposed to be doing. Our focus was on healthcare. It took awhile for me to figure it out. How could I help businesses operate more efficiently? I learned and I got good at it. I fell in love with my work. I traveled all over the US. I flew out on Sunday and returned home on Friday. That didn’t leave Mark and I much time to spend together – a couple of workaholics happily working.

Boston: Then, in 1989, Mark took a new job in New Hampshire. Visions of Omaha, Fayetteville and Mascoutah danced in my head. We found a place to live in Beverly, Massachusetts and Mark commuted to NH. When I arrived and started meeting Mark’s new friends, they asked me what I was going to do. I left my consulting job because most of our work was in California at the time. I told them I was going to go to Harvard Business School. They laughed. I laughed. But I was serious.

Even when I was a Flight Attendant, I wanted to go to HBS. Why? Because, once, in the middle of an argument, Mark said, “I make more money than you so I make the decisions around here.”

“Is that what works for you? That doesn’t work for me.” I thought to myself. It’s funny what sets us in motion.  I ended up graduating from Harvard Business School! I’m grateful to Mark for what he provided over the years we were married. I left soon after graduation day. We were together eleven years.

I worked briefly for Jenny Craig International supervising 5 stores and supporting staff who coached clients in losing weight. That was fun – for about 6 months. Then it got repetitive. I don’t like teaching people the same thing in the same way over and over again. Staff turned over quickly. Training was constant.

Career: I went back to consulting. West Hudson! I loved that company and everyone who worked there. Doug and Richard split off from our old company and started West Hudson in California.  I joined them when there were just a handful of people making things happen. During the week, traveling on the road, we ate breakfast, lunch and dinner together. We got drunk, complained about everything, told secrets, got irritated with each other, knew each other’s habits and how to get on each other’s nerves. We shared cars and computers and we took good care of each other.

After a few years, we grew and were acquired by Allegiance Health Care. Then, Allegiance was acquired by an even bigger company, Cardinal Health. I prospered along with every one else. But, I didn’t like working for a large company. Not many of the original WH people liked our new structure. People left. I left one day thinking I would take a summer off. Summer flew by, then 6 months, then a year. I just never went back.

I had a relationship with a man for 12 years during the time I was on the road consulting every week. He complained about my travel schedule! Where have we heard that before? Near the end of our relationship, he got a job – traveling! By that time, I had stopped traveling. Hmm…once again, two people, pulling in opposite directions.

 

My Life Story: Part Two

Since then, I’ve taken time to get to know myself – by myself. Who am I without someone else around telling me who I need to be to gain their approval? I bought a couple of houses. I fixed them up and sold them. I spent two years stripping wallpaper and painting, healing myself.  I didn’t know that’s what I was doing, but that’s what happened.

I’ve been taking personal development courses for over eight years. I analyzed myself from the inside out and I got happy, really happy.  For the last two years, I’ve trained in boxing. Last year, I added Brazilian Jiu Jitsu. This year, I added Muay Thai (kick-boxing). The last two were added in because I fell in love with UFC Mixed Martial Arts fighting.

 

I train with Kenny Florian and his brother, Keith Florian, at Florian Martial Arts Center in Brookline, MA. For boxing, I go to Peter Welch’s gym in South Boston.  I love being around fighters. I’m learning to love men differently from how I’ve experienced them in the past. It feels like the more masculine they are, the more feminine I become. No more pulling in opposite directions. No power struggles. From now on, I’m choosing to be with people (friends, lovers, business associates and clients) who are on the same side of the table with me.

I’ve always been a fighter.  Not physically, but definitely verbally, which brings me to Flip Kick Listen – my newest passion.

In my work as a consultant, one of the things I did best was to teach people how to gather information to build an argument for changes being implemented. I taught people what to say, what not to say and what kind of body language to use to get others to take them seriously. When people got stuck, which always happens whenever we’re learning something new or taking risks, I thought of ways to pull them forward. I’m connecting all of my favorite skills together to create the lessons that we share with you on  Flip Kick Listen. 

I’ve completed my first 50 years. During my second half, I’m looking forward to deepening my love of life. I’ve learned to be gentle with myself and others. I’ve learned to laugh, love and play. Come and explore new worlds with me!  We’ll have fun, I promise.  Read my latest post in the “Pick Me! I’m Funny!” © series on www.thatgirlisfunny.com

 The best is yet to come! 

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