thatgirlisfunny.com

“So, you lost the first round.”

by Cheryl Ragsdale

How to Survive When the Bully is Winning

Some people call it “drama”. People often lose the first round with a bully because they’re caught off-guard by something unexpected that a bully says or does.

When I entered the word “bullying” into google, over 60 million results showed up. That’s a lot of attention being paid to one word.

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Advice for people who have no idea what to do next

There comes a time in everyone’s career (or personal life) when you need to handle someone who is making your life miserable. If you need more tools because yours aren’t working, then you’ve come to the right place.

I’ve created a workbook entitled, “So, You Lost the First Round… How to survive when the bully is winning – Advice for people who have no idea what to do”. A very lengthy title designed to set the stage for how to prepare yourself to respond to bullies.

In the workbook, I use fight references because when someone is bullying you, it IS a fight. You’re fighting to maintain your self-respect and dignity. The bully is fighting to diminish or dominate you. Bullies thrive on helping other people lose confidence.

Bullying has nothing to do with how tough or passive you are. Bullies choose their targets for different reasons.

Many people have written on the subject of identifying bullies, how to avoid them, and even, how not to be one. My aim in presenting this series of workbooks is to offer practical, implementable – hit the ground running solutions – that work when a bully shows up and starts jabbing at you.

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Definition of Bullying

Bullying is intentional hurtful behavior. It can be physical or psychological. It is often repeated and characterized by an inequality of power so that it is difficult for the victim to defend him or her self.

The above definition is from “Measuring Bullying Victimization, Perpetration and Bystander Experiences: A Compendium of Assessment Tools” (page 25). The compendium is published by the Center for Disease Control: Division of Violence Prevention.

Most of us are more likely to face “verbal punches” rather than physical blows. Let’s face it, bullying happens everyday.

• - In the workplace
• - At family gatherings
• - At public events
• - Online
• - Over parking spots
• - On the highway (road rage)
• - People deciding that someone doesn’t fit

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Who should read this book?

This series is designed for you, if you need to learn how to respond effectively to:

• - inexperienced bosses,
• - difficult bosses,
• - teams of people you need to influence – without having authority over them,
• - friends or family who demand too much from you,
• - strangers who invade your boundaries,
• - people who try to push you around,
• - irrational, unfair or unpleasant people
• - school bullying
• - cyber bullying
•  - harassment
•  - workplace bullying

My approach is not human resource (HR) department focused or based in HR principles.

The “First Round” workbook series will assist you in developing support structures and strong muscle memory to help you bounce back from episodes of being bullied. This ebook- and the ones to follow – will arm you with tools to thwart a bully’s advances.

“Anyone can become angry — that’s easy. But to be angry with the right person, to the right degree, at the right time, for the right purpose and in the right way — that is not within everyone’s power - and is not easy.” Aristotle

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Build muscle and a fighter’s arsenal of tools

This workbook is designed to help you build muscle – like a fighter – to build up your arsenal of tools to allow you to protect yourself and other people from being under attack.

The first step in the process covered in this ebook is to determine who your cornermen (corner people) are. The people you think are in your corner may not be the best ones for the job. The worksheets, tools and questions included in the workbook are designed to help you choose the perfect people to back you up when a bully approaches.

Have you noticed people scattering when a bully shows up? Most people prefer not to “get involved”. Worst scenario for them might be that the bully stops picking on you and starts picking on them.

People don’t automatically know how to fight effectively. The “First Round” workbook provides actions that you can implement right now to restore your self-respect, honor and dignity.

At 30 pages, it’s a short read. Spend an hour answering the questions and filling in the worksheets. You’ll be armed and ready for battle the next time the bully strikes.

Take the first step to “bully-proof” yourself. Order your copy now (immediate download). Put an end to your bullying stories and win the next round.

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Why you should study my suggestions and implement them as soon as possible…

The lessons are presented in a way that allows you to practice and determine which methods work best for you. My goal is that you’ll be comfortable and proficient enough – after you’ve had time to learn, practice and succeed – to teach these skills to another person – like one of your kids, for instance.

The solutions offered provide immediate relief. The methods will not impact the bully. They will impact you. I’m training you to navigate around the bully and sustain minimal emotional damage, physical harm or work-related problems.

There’s no promise or guarantee that people will stop bullying. They will still try. You’ll just be better prepared to handle them. You’ll stand strong in the face of their bullying attempts. You may even start to see two steps ahead of them.

You’ll stop worrying.

You might even laugh at their attempts to unravel you.

You’ll need courage to stand up to someone who is attempting to spoil your day.

When you do stand up to them, you’ll feel like a million bucks.

If you read this workbook – and you follow my suggestions and complete the worksheets – standing up to other people will get much easier and more automatic.

And that is my promise to you.

If you’re in a situation where you’re being bullied right now, buy this workbook – read it and get immediate relief by implementing the strategies and steps I’ve suggested (immediate download).  

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Who am I and what makes me so confident that I can help you?

I’ve always had a strong personality. People describe me as tough minded and able to take care of myself. I’m self-sufficient, reliable and resourceful – not the sort of person who would come to mind as someone who might have been bullied. But, unfortunately, I have been bullied – at work, by men, by family, by classmates – and surprisingly, even by myself.

For the last three years, I’ve trained at Florian Martial Arts Center in Brookline, Massachusetts – honing my skills and becoming a mixed martial artist. That means I practice Muay Thai kick-boxing and a little bit of wrestling. In addition, I’m a blue belt in Brazilian jiu jitsu (BJJ).

I spent a year prior to starting martial arts, training in boxing three times a week with a variety of Irish boxers in South Boston. Currently, I train with Keith Florian and his brother, Kenny Florian, who fights for the UFC.

When people refer to my sport, they call it MMA.

In short, I know how to fight.

I never expect that I’ll have to use my physical skills because I know how to use body language and my voice to ward off an attacker. My objective? To have an aggressor choose someone else to pick on.

In my corporate life, I worked for over 12 years as a management consultant – managing staff and working with client teams to solve major operational problems in highly regarded teaching hospitals across the US. I traveled most weeks – Sunday to Thursday. I was a crusty road warrior.

I’ve managed front line staff and advised corporate executive teams. I’ve had my share of verbal skirmishes when attempting to change the status quo.

I’ve faced nearly every kind of organizational resistance, plan spoiler, ego-maniac, territorial king or queen – you name it, I’ve seen it, heard about it or experienced it. It’s the natural order of things when people work together.

Currently, I publish articles online through my blog called thatgirlisfunny.com.

On my blog, I post about how to stand up for yourself and how to stay young from the inside out. I write about things that make me laugh and I also discuss my favorite sport, mixed martial arts.

Yahoo! Sports

In addition, I publish regularly on Yahoo! Sports as a Featured Contributor. I cover all major mixed martial arts events and offer my opinions on news and personalities. I make fight predictions for who I think will win and why. Post-event, I write up the results for each match and offer my thoughts on how I think each fighter performed.

I enjoy breaking down what happened in each fight, identifying what went right and what went wrong. I bring that same level of attention to detail to the study of how bullies operate and what tools in my arsenal work best against them.

For most of us, the answer is to step up, speak up and not let ourselves be pushed around. That doesn’t happen easily without practice. The punch that knocks you out is the one you don’t see coming.

Knowing that you’re supposed to defend your boundaries and knowing HOW to defend your boundaries are two entirely different things.

If you haven’t been taught how to defend yourself verbally against another person, now is the time to act. You will use these skills for the rest of your life.

If being bullied is an on-going issue for you, the suggestions in “First Round” will be useful to you over and over again. Order your copy now (immediate download).  

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First Round Coaching Services

Try my coaching services if you need one-on-one time to handle a situation. I provide you with tools and support. Without having to go through the whole story, I sort through the main elements with you and work with you to create a plan for handling the situation.

If you need help like this, email me with “make an appointment” in the subject line. I will contact you promptly to set up a time for us to speak.

My email address is cheryl@thatgirlisfunny.com

I’m going to teach you how to fight.

I’ve been training in boxing and martial arts for nearly four years now. It takes time to re-train our bodies to move in ways that are new and difficult. All good fighting moves are technique based. They don’t come naturally. Usually, we have to break old habits of thinking and moving to allow the new skills to sink in.

Like keeping my eyes open when someone is throwing a punch directly at my face, for instance. Yikes!

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Top 5 Reasons to buy the “First Round” workbook

1. - Learn to react like a fighter when bullies attack
2. - Discover who are the best and most effective people to have in your corner
3. - Get relief from current situations and arm yourself for future ones
4. - Develop a strong base to fight back from
5. - Develop the confidence to deal with any bully anytime, anywhere

What are you waiting for? Be ready to respond with confidence the next time the bully strikes. You know it’s just a matter of time.

Order your copy now (immediate download).

“In today’s high paced and competitive work atmosphere, it’s easy to develop unhealthy relationships with co-workers and people that you have no choice but to be around. In “So, You Lost the First Round”, Cheryl Ragsdale offers functional advice on how to handle people who may take away from your ability to excel at work, and in life in general. She helps the reader identify the people who are adding the most negativity, the people who are the most supportive and how you can minimize and maximize them, respectively. This book is a great tool for anyone seeking general self improvement and the building of healthy relationships with those around them.”

Lauren Smith

K – 12 After School Program Leader

Boston, MA

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Cheryl Ragsdale’s MMA posts also appear on Yahoo! Sports

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