Adventures in living a healthy, juicy life
by Cheryl Ragsdale
It’s a darn good thing I didn’t live back in the 1500′s.
Well, if I did live back then, I probably wouldn’t have had a long and peaceful, happy life.
Burning witches at the stake. Putting people in pillaries and throwing rotten vegetables at them. Dunking women in water to make them confess or cool their hot tempers.
Unbelievable behavior designed to shame and silence out-spoken women.
“Dunking is a form of torture and punishment that was applied to scolds and supposed witches. In a trial by ordeal, supposed witches were immersed into a vat of water or pond, and taken out after some time, thus and given the opportunity to confess. This process was usually repeated until the victim drowned or gave up and confessed, leading to them being executed in another way, usually hanging or, more rarely, burning. Also, if they had their hands/feet tied, they would be left under water. If they floated they were guilty of witchcraft, if they sank they were innocent but would have usually drowned anyway. Wickipedia
I don’t think people’s desire to punish publicly has changed much. We’re still human.
Yes, we’ve evolved. But there are still people who practice gossip and undermine and set people up to be publicly shamed or embarrassed.
Even more upsetting news…studies show that women are more likely to be bullied by another woman (see reference below).
Unbelievable behavior designed to shame and silence out-spoken women.
We’ve gotten sneakier about it.
Innuendo. Exchanging glances designed to diminish others – like rolling your eyes when someone is speaking to demonstrate your disdain for them and their opinions.
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No Room for Sisterhood?
“In total, 60 percent of bullies in U.S. workplaces are men, according to the Workplace Bullying Institute (WBI), a national advocacy group. But whereas they tend to target both sexes equally, their female counterparts choose other women as their targets over 70 percent of the time.” workplacebullying.org
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Scold’s bridle, Germany, 1550-1800
“This item is one of the more disturbing objects in Henry Wellcome’s collection. A ‘Scold’s bridle’ is a fearsome looking mask which fits tightly on to the head.
A scold was defined as a “rude, clamorous woman”.
The bridle was used as a punishment for women considered to be spending too much time gossiping or quarrelling.
Time spent in the bridle was normally allocated as a punishment by a local magistrate. The custom developed in Britain in the 1500s, and spread to some other European countries, including Germany.
When wearing the mask it was impossible to speak. This example has a bell on top to draw even more attention to the wearer, increasing their humiliation. It was used until the early 1800s as a punishment in workhouses.” ScienceMuseum.org
Getting caught in a bully’s radar is no joke.
When a bully takes action designed to make you – in the immortal words of Archie Bunker – “stifle yourself”, it’s time for you to do something to defend yourself.
Shaming gets deep under our skin and can make us physically and mentally sick.
There are a variety of ways to deal with the consequences of being bullied. Reaching out to others for support is the first best step. You’re not the first person, and certainly not the only person, the bully has treated this way.
Please see the posts I’ve dug up on line for you (listed below) or visit some of my “How To Stand Up For Yourself” posts on thatgirlisfunny.
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More Advice For How To Stand Up For Yourself
Welcome to the February 4, 2011 edition of how to stand up for yourself.
- Is Facebook making us sad? Stanford University research and Sherry Turkle’s new book Alone Together suggest that social networking may foster loneliness. – By Libby Copeland – Slate Magazine posted at Slate Magazine, saying, “There are countless ways to make yourself feel lousy. Here’s one more, according to research out of Stanford: Assume you’re alone in your unhappiness.” Is this like bullying yourself?
- Leaving an Abusive Wife: Pre-Divorce Checklist | Shrink4Men posted at Shrink4Men, saying, “Using children as vindictive tools of manipulation is a favorite tactic abusive women employ to keep the husband from leaving her. Alienation campaigns are nearly always used against the man when the couple has children together. He may fear losing his retirement or his career. He may have bought into the repeated messages he receives from his wife that he’s no good and no one else will put up with him or that he’ll never make it without her. Simply put, a man may spend years wanting to leave and knowing that he should leave, but his fear of unthinkable consequences keeps him stuck. Many men have been in such a state of tortured indecision for 15 or 20 years.”
- No Room for Sisterhood? posted at Workplace Bullying Institute, saying, “In total, 60 percent of bullies in U.S. workplaces are men, according to the Workplace Bullying Institute (WBI), a national advocacy group. But whereas they tend to target both sexes equally, their female counterparts choose other women as their targets over 70 percent of the time.”
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That concludes this edition. Submit your blog article to the next edition of how to stand up for yourself by using our carnival submission form. Past posts and future hosts can be found on our blog carnival index page.
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Cheryl Ragsdale practices martial arts for fun and physical fitness at Florian Martial Arts Center. Stand up for yourself and stay young from the inside out.
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Hey Cheryl,
Wow knowing that women are more likely to be bullied than men is surprising so this is really an important post for every woman around who should not only protect themselves but also give dignity to themselves thru standing up the right way.
Tyrone.