Adventures in living a healthy, juicy life
by Cheryl Ragsdale
As a practitioner of martial arts for two years and boxing for the last 3 years, I’m finally learning how to spar.
Timing, rhythm and technique are all combining to make me a formidable opponent for my Muay Thai sparring partners. Plus, it’s good, clean fun!
It’s doubtful that I will ever need to defend myself in a street fight or an unexpected altercation.
I do, however, experience the need for “Verbal Judo” on a regular basis.
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We humans are not always nice to each other
We face off with each other over the TV remote and what to have to dinner.
We get territorial over people and things.
We demand attention from others by taking their attention away from something or someone else.
I started thinking about the tactical skills required to address disagreements successfully with the outcome being that both people survive with their dignity intact.
Verbal self-defense using the Gentle Warrior idea. That means no hands – just using your voice.
I found this great video that explains how to effectively use verbal self-defense in every day encounters.
Dr. George Thompson (“Doc Rhino”) is the President and Founder of the Verbal Judo Institute. He is shown in the video below delivering a presentation on Verbal Judo to Columbia Business School students.
Over the last 26 years, he has personally trained more than 700,000 individuals in Tactical Communications — a program he developed in 1983 for defusing conflict and redirecting behavior with words.
The presentation lasts 90 minutes and is well worth the investment in time.
One thing I noticed during the course of the lecture is that the students appeared to listen more intently once Doc Rhino questioned them about how they teach their children to defend themselves in a bullying incident or other unexpected verbal battle.
Most of the students listened keenly to learn what other tactics were available beyond “turn around and walk away” to offer young people and children.
Our parents did their best to keep us out of trouble at school by admonishing us to turn the other cheek. Sometimes, we got the message to stand up for ourselves. What did that mean?
For me that usually meant walloping someone
It made me feel better…until I was collared and sent directly to the Head Master’s office. From bad to worse. Crying over something someone said and then crying over my latest reason to be in trouble. It was so easy to push my buttons back then.
Most of us still react the same way we did when we were kids. When we feel bullied or diminished, we withdraw with hurt feelings and with unexpressed anger festering inside us.
Doc Rhino’s suggestions and tactics help us to respectfully defend ourselves using voice, tone and well-chosen words.
Take a look at Verbal Judo: Diffusing Conflict With Conversation
Note: Doc Rhino wheezes when he speaks as a result of his battle with cancer of the vocal cords. You’ll get used to it. He sounds a bit like Darth Vader.
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Cheryl Ragsdale practices martial arts for fun and physical fitness at Florian Martial Arts Center. Stand up for yourself and stay young from the inside out.
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This is incredible information, I watched some of the video and the man is right about how words are dangerous if it not controlled. Tactical Communication is critical when you want to avoid conflict or confront conflict without escalating the situation. This is an excellent post, Cheryl.
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